Saturday, January 15, 2005
missing you guys like shit.crescent 2004.
i've realised how badly i've actually missed you guys.although i kinda like cj, but everyones everywhere else.cant say i havent realised that some ppl arent the ppl i've known for 4 years,the people who have walked through my crescentian life with me.its hard to fit in,especially since the people who i noe now,don really noe me.but its nice here,and i really wonder if i have the chance to leave it all,will i leave because of the people or because i have to,forced by someone.lol,donno why,but somehow i feel left out.yesterday,went back to crescent.so damn happy to see pat and ks and suhan and everyone i saw yesterday,the badminton booth,although wasnt the best,was smth i kinda missed too.but before that,when i was in cj,i kinda felt like everyone wasnt really close.i feel weirdly left out,abit unfamiliar,and a strange feeling that i'm being treated like i don exist.sad,lol.either all that or i'm just considered irritating.does it matter?gp question.i answered it wasnt all that impt,but who am i kidding here?myself?or others?i hate it when people put on masks.i've tried to get rid of mine,but i'm meeting new ones each day that goes by.i just want to go back to the people i've known for 4 years.the people who don actually mind me being there cos they noe what i'm like.and it scares me,the thought that i actually might return to putting on my mask again,to be someone i'm not just to fit in.
miss you all.i'm not me anymore.
renditioned soulessly at 8:34 PM
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